Review of 'Being Wendy' by missylaroux

I am sorry for myself for reading this story, and after that reviewing it.  Also, I want to apologize from missylaroux, if I say something, that hurts her(him).

There will be some spoilers.



Pairing: HookxWendy
From: Peter Pan by J.M Barrie
Author: missylaroux
Words: 66,219
Chapters: 30
Status: Complete
Language: English
Genre: Romance, Angst




So, let's start from the begenning. Story starts with really good begenning, Wendy goes to sleep, and everything seems good, until Captain Hook comes and kidnaps her using her as  a tool in his plan.
Oh, the idea is wonderfull, Wendy being locked in Hook's ship, Jolly Roger against her will.
Yey! Well, there ends my compliments.  Why?
Wendy turns into a Mary Sue, she's perfect, learns everything fast, and other men in the ship are dying to touch her.  I don't know about you, but it annoys me. A LOT.

After Ch.12 the story starts to lose it's strong hold from the  main plot, and  focuses mainly on Hook and Wendy's relationship. It  is REALLY bad, when their discussions are like from Twilight (by Stephanie Mayer).   Everything feels just unrealistic.  Then, of course, theres one boy nearly as old as Wendy, boy named Charlie, who is depressingly, madly in love with Wendy.  And, thats it. He's just a random boy who appears in random scenes, when writer doesn't know, what to write next.

Every move author takes, takes reader farther from the story.  She(he) doesn't justify almost anything. SPOILERSPOILERSPOLERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOLERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOLERSPOILER
What happened, when  Wendy betrayed Peter? Where's the fight?? Author can't just drop a scene like that away, especially, when it's Peter Pan, we are talking about!  Fights with pirates are PART OF THE STORY, and they are needed to be there.
Changing pov is one of the most annoying things in the story, with Twilight'ish theme.  ARGH!
Well,  all of a sudden Wendy and Hook are talking about something about the  fight with Peter, and author doesn't EVEN hint, what happened in the  battle against him.
So, totally messed up with pov changes suddently Wendy is preg with Hooks child, and fighting against Indians, Mermaids, Pan and Fairies,  drama starts again, and sounds WAY too much Twilight, again. Makes me just think, why author didn't keep that awesome story, that was in the begenning the whole time?!?
Well, they (Hook and Wendy) travel back to the real world for  a half or five chapters, can't tell, and have adventures with Tiger Lily, and boom, Wendy gives birth to a child that is girl, ofc, and then happens something weird.... I couldn't keep up with the messy plot, and sudden pov changes all the time. And boof: HAPPY ENDING, I was SO suprised....

 ''Aaah, sadness! I mean the story HAS to end (it probably should have many chapters ago. I had actually planned it out in my head to have it stop at 20.'''-missylaroux

For God's sake! That would have been a good choise, miss/mister!



+/-

+Really Good start
+Goo idea
 -result wasn't.
+Pairing
-Pov changes
-Messy plot
-''What the hell is happening in here?''
--Twilight'ish
-Last chapters are just stupid.
+/-Wendy's hair gets blonde from brown.




-Dan